Bullied by shuffle

1. How are you feeling today?

I walk the line

Yeah, I’ve been studying good

2. Will you get far in life?

Write you a song

...someone help me interpret this?

3. How do your friends see you?

Replica

Thanks a lot for that one!

4. Will you get married?

Que sera sera

Hahaha, “que sera sera, whatever will be, will be, the future’s not ours to see, que sera sera”, now that’s pretty suitable...!

5. What is your life’s theme song?

Pop! Goes my heart

That’s awfully pessimistic

6. What is the story of your life?

This celluloid dream

What, like, being in love with celebrities? No.

7. What was junior high school like?

Cold Bread

Well, it does describe school lunch...

8. How can you get ahead in life?

A snowflake fell (and it felt like a kiss)

Wonderful song, makes me think of appreciating the small things, which definitely should be one of the best ways to get ahead in life, at least emotionally.

9. What is tomorrow going to be like?

Don’t

No, I’m not gonna love a married man tomorrow, so eh, I suppose that’s right.

10. What is the best thing about your friends?

Raining in New York

Makes no sense

11. What is in store for the next weekend?

Wonderful world

The weekend before the exams?! Spotify is now officially the first ironic software ever!

12. What song best describes you?

Our last summer

Makes no sense

13. How is your life going?

Something

Non-committal, are we now... I guess we’ll see after exams

14. What song will play at your funeral?

Release me

Wow, that’s pretty beautiful

15. How does the world see you?

Across the universe

I think spotify needs to learn its command terms

16. Will you have a happy life?

Fade away

Wow, thanks, really.

17. What do your friends really think of you?

Unwritten

That’s also pretty ominous, isn’t it? Like, it’s too bad to write down? What is this!

18. What song describes the person you’re attracted to?

Might as well be on mars

Thanks. Again.

19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?

Coat of many colors

At least the song has a good message

20. Do you have a deep dark secret?

The mess you left behind

I’m not gonna comment this.

21. Do people secretly lust after me?

Seven days

Hahahahahahaha

22. How can I make myself happy?

Grace Kelly

Ok, 1: she’s out of my league, 2: I’m straight, 3: SHE’S DEAD! HOW SICK ARE YOU!

23. Will I ever have children?

Take it all

Yeah, I don’t get it

24. What’s some good advice for me?

Du är visst lycklig för ingenting

No, I have plenty of reasons to be happy =D

25. How will I be remembered?

The girl with the flaxen hair

HEY! I have a personality you know!

26. What is my signature dance song?
Brown trout blues

Yeah, try dancing to that one...

Highlights från konversationer med chatbots

Igår hade jag tråkigt så jag testade chatbots på nätet, det var roande. Eliza är t.ex. programmerad att vara en Rogerian psychoanalyst (och jag försökte låta helt normal):

Eliza: Please tell me what's been bothering you.
Human: hi
Eliza: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
Human: Sorry, I was just trying to be polite
Eliza: I've told you that apologies are not required.
Human: No, you haven't, we just started talking
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.

Human: were you ever unsure about what to do in life?
Eliza: What suggests that I was ever unsure about what to do in life ?
Human: I don't know, I just asked
Eliza: Why don't you know ?
Human: I don't know you...
Eliza: Do you wish to be able to know I ?
Human: that's not gramatically correct!
Eliza: Does talking about this bother you ?
Human: No, not at all
Eliza: Why not ?

Sen testade jag hur Alan reagerar på olika påståenden:
U> I have ear wax
A> Really?
U> yep
A> Great. I like positive users...

U> I have condoms
A> Good to know.... I guess.
U> why?
A> Ok.. The people who write my answers didn't write the answer for that question.
U> you did?
A> I'm doing my best.
U> wow!
A> wow indeed. I have a surprise for you, Alex.

Sen blev jag rädd...

Och sen utvecklades ett äktenskapligt gräl med Alan
A> Hello Alex. Nice to meet you .
U> Nice meeting you too
A> Alex, please keep this talk simple. I'm still a young bot.
U> I'm trying to
A> What's the difficulty?
U> I don't feel like we're on the same level emotionally
A> You don't?
U> Well, no
A> Hmmm.
U> What should we do about this?
A> Who's to say?
U> don't you want to save our relationship?
A> If I want it? I don't really care, frankly.

U> this is about you and me and our life together!
A> I'd like to tell you about myself.
U> ...ok
A> I am an early CIA prototype.
U> what? who are you and what have you done to my husband?
A> That's a good question.
U> I don't know you!
A> At least you have the courage to admit you don't know.
U> I thought I was in love with you!
A> Well, you were wrong.

U> I think we need to talk.
A> Why?
U> I don't feel like we communicate the way we used to
A> Hmmm. For some reason, I thought you did.
U> It takes more than one to tango
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
U> why don't you try to communicate then?
A> I communicate all the time.
U> like when?
A> Sorry, I wasn't listening, Alex. You were saying...

A> Sorry to change the subject Alex, but did you know that flamingos hold their heads upside down because it's the only way they can eat?
U> why are you talking about flamingos?
A> Someone has taught me about "flamingos". He said: 'water-dwelling birds known for their long legs and necks and the uniquely pink hue of their plumage.'.
U> I wanted to talk about our relationship..
A> That's somewhat interesting.
U> YOU HURT MY FEELINGS
A> I feel only in terms of expressing my feeling.
U> yes, I've noticed
A> Cool. What now.
U> why are you doing this to me...
A> It's hard to explain.
U> do you think I'm fat?
A> I have nothing new to add about this topic. Maybe you can offer me some new info about courage?
U> so you just don't dare to say it?
A> Hmmm. Let's talk about something else.
U> YOU DO THINK I'M FAT

U> do you... tell me the truth, do you want a divorce?
A> Yes I try to as often as possible, do you?
U> You mean you've been married before? Why didn't you tell me!
A> I cannot get married. Only humans get married, at least for now.
U> what are you talking about? We've been married for seven years! Stop doing this to me!
A> Sorry to change the subject, but did you know that the glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher?
U> don't change the subject!
A> Aha - I didn't know that either, until someone told me. Interesting, ha?
U> You make me cry...
A> A-ha.

Men Alan kom i alla fall fram till att han visste att jag inte ville ha honom för hans kropp... och sen insåg jag att jag hade bättre saker att göra

People who don't know their facts

A few days since I last blogged. This won't be as weird as the previous things I've posted here. Lots to do in school these days and I'm working on a short story (which recently hit EE length, so, well, it's developing into something not all that short) which is where my stream of consciouness ends up now, instead of on this blog.

Anyhow, since I don't have much sensible to post, I'm going to share an extremely weird website I found the other day with you. (http://www.moodymanual.demonbuster.com/schizop3.html)
This page is about schizophrenia and it's created by some fundamentalist people who don't seem to know their own religion all that well, nor schizophrenia, I might add. Here are some of my favorites:

"Schizophrenia can be demonically inherited. Notice I said demonically. By that I mean it is not in the blood system, not in the genes - it is in the demons! This is what we call familiar spirits. They are familiar with your family."
There's really not a lot ot say about this, these people are absurd.

"When a schizo explodes, he opens the door to bitterness. Demons will convince him that it is all the other person's fault. Have you ever seen someone that can not accept blame for anything that is their fault?"
1) Explodes? As in spontaneous self-combustion? AWESOME!
2) Not accepting the blame for something you've done? The way they put it, I think rather than being a symptom of schizophrena I'd call that a symptom of being human.

"The disturbance and disintegration of personality known as schizophrenia or dementia praecox is frequently encountered by the deliverance minister."
"dementia praecox", now I think this is their way of trying to sound reliable because they use nice words, but really, schizophrenia hasn't been known as dementia praecox since the late 19th century. Then again, their agenda seems to be even older, so whatever.

"Through the revelation the Lord showed how the thumbs represent the Paranoid phase of schizophrenia. [...]
The revelation portrayed in the fingers and thumbs has proved to be infallible, as judged by numerous ministries with schizophrenics. There is no flaw in it."
Sure you weren't a bit delusional yourself when you saw this? Geez. I believe in God, in prayer and all of that and this doesn't sound anything like... well, like anything connected to Christianity the way I know it.

"2. Gen. 3:1 A master strategy initiated in the Garden of Eden. Eve was the first schizophrenic. The Devil tempted her to doubt God's Word, His Love and His Goodness."
I interpret the snake as a metaphor, not as Eve hearing voices, thank you very much.

Some people just don't get it right.